The Works of KJ Hannah Greenberg
KJ Hannah Greenberg gets high on adverbs, mixes more metaphors than a platypus has pockets, plus giggles so much as to not actually be indomitable. What’s more, she runs with a prickle of sometimes rabid (imaginary) hedgehogs, and attempts to matchmake words like “balderdash” and “xylophone.” Hannah's newest books are The Immediacy of Emotional Kerfuffles, 2nd ed. (Bards and Sages Publishing, 2015), and Dancing with Hedgehogs, (Fowlpox Press, 2014).
All Flash Fiction © KJ Hannah Greenberg
Theophilus tripped at the cave’s entrance. Rising, he found his hands stuffed with granules. One bunch, Theo threw back. Bits of gravel resounded against walls while traveling far downward. Had he not fallen on his face, he would have died.
His other hand clutched an object and more debris. That small, manganite-encrusted ornament was configured with leaves. Given jewels’ rarity among his peers, he’d purchased his kingdom.
En route back to those friends, Theo passed much decaying vegetation. He would have liked to have pillowed himself against that leaf mold, to have inhaled its damp sweetness, to have admired the mushrooms popping out of tree trunks and to have contemplated the sniggering birds.
Those avians snuffled loudly enough at Theophilus to disturb a wild boar, which was playing hide and seek among the lush rainforest’s ferns. Interrupted, that feral pig charged, determined to make Theophilus “it.”
Beholding the large swine, the lad yelped up a matapalo tree. As he reached hand over hand, the contents of his pockets dripped out. Down, toward the large-headed porcine, drifted his cassette of Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind,” his unfinished letter to Claudia Schiffer, and the bejeweled ring he just won from the woodland fissure.
The giant hog stopped to consider those treasures. He ate the letter, licked the tape, and somehow affixed the jewel to his snout. When Theophilus threw figs at him, piggy merely trotted away, humming “Bennie and the Jets.”